Blessed Sunday, friends! I hope you’re having a good time resting on your own or spending time with your loved ones.
I think, I have a holy trinity of things which holds me back from doing things I really want to do.
1. Personal Perception
I think my perception of myself is one of the biggest thing which holds me back. When I think of certain activities, I tend to associate it with certain types of people or characteristics. So, when I think I don’t have that “prerequisite,” I convince myself that I don’t have what it takes to do something I want to do. Subsequently, this holds me back from what I really want to. Haha! Yes, sadly, I allow generalisations and stereotypes constrain me. For example… Sometimes, I don’t talk to certain people because I think they are part of the cool popular crowd and I’m not cool enough for them. Sometimes, I think only people with a certain lifestyle are allowed to go to certain places so I don’t go there unless someone from the “in” crowd invites me to. Sometimes, I think people should have a certain physique before wearing certain clothes so I don’t buy them at all. Yes, this logic is incredibly superficial, idiotic, and self-limiting but I don’t like to seem like I’m trying too hard or that I’m trying to fit on. So, I tend to succumb to self-doubt and follow the status quo. But, I guess, as I grow older, I am slowly learning to care less about the stereotypes and carve my own path instead. We’ll see.
2. Too Much Ideas
This is a complete opposite of the earlier point. I guess when I feel that something is free for all, I go overboard. For some reason, I have too much ideas of things I want to try, places I want to go, activities I want to do, goals I want to accomplish. I feel like the world is my oyster and I should explore and taste every single corner of it. No single rock should be left unturned. It’s no surprise my (previous) bucket list is pretty long. But that’s the thing, there’s so much things I want to do that I end up not doing any. Sometimes, while I’m doing something, I’d suddenly want to do something else, hence I don’t get to complete any of them. Sometimes, all the options and possibilities end up paralysing me. It’s disappointing, really, when dreams turn into dust. But, I guess, it helps that I write lists or tell my close friends about. Some very good friends remind me of my ideas, hold me accountable for my goals, or even surprise plan an activity involving this. (My supportive bff Cumuloq is exceptionally good with this. Thanks!) Anyway, here’s an article by Carl Richards about “The Trap of Too Many Choices“.
You know when people say, “Oh. I don’t have enough time or money for this.” “Oh. Once I start, I want to be able to commit my 200% for it but since I can’t do that now, I’ll do it next time.” “Sigh. I’d want to but I’m really busy with work.” “Oh. I’m sorry. I have no one to do it with.” Sadly, I’m one of those people as well. Sometimes, these are legitimate reason. For example, I previously had an opportunity to do a 6-month exchange programme to Wyoming, USA but I didn’t because of financial constraints. But, I’ve come to learn that these are excuses which shows how passionate (or not passionate) I really am about something. When I really want to do something, I do my best to part the ocean, put it on top of my priority list, and make it work. Otherwise, it becomes one of those wishful thinking which people add onto never ending to-do list and eventually, even a bucket list. In fact, I’ve written a couple of 30 Day Challenge posts while on a beach holiday before. I’ve also managed to exercise in a gym 4 times a week before. However, I’ve also dropped the ball and let “insufficient” time distract me away from my goals. Again, I’m learning…
Anyway, with all these said, I think it’s helpful that I recognise these as my weaknesses. It helps me identify these “excuses” and overcome them. For example, when I have a new idea of what I’d like to try but I suddenly hear any of these thoughts in my head, it becomes easier for me to refute myself and “break my own mould.”
So, yup. I’m trying to rise above and do what I really want to do, once obstacle at a time. We’ll see…
Oh here’s Cumuloq’s response to this topic, by the way. I’ll try to catch you again tomorrow. The timing might be a bit off as I’ll be flying to the land of lechon. Woohoo!