Hearing Myself in a Noisy World

I have been meeting tons of people lately. And, it’s been amazing! I enjoy talking to people, listening to what they are up to, figuring out what they are passionate about, and motivating them to be better. Plus, everyone has a different background, a new story to tell, a fresh perspective, and a contrasting opinion. It feels like finding jewels inside a treasure box! However, this seems to be backfiring on me. You see, it’s so easy to follow and latch onto other people’s lives nowadays. We can watch movies, read books, follow tv series, meet people, or subscribe to their social media profiles. I, myself, am guilty of such. I can get lost reading articles online or checking 101 social media platforms. Once my nose is buried in a book or a show, that literary character would be my best friend for weeks and months! And, it’s all great! Millennials are very social creatures and we are in a very interconnected society. There are tons of interesting information in the world that we want to absorb. Being hooked and in-the-know is supposedly a boon, not a bane.

Well, keyword is “supposedly.” Until now – when I realise that I can’t hear myself. There’s so much noise! I spend so much time interacting with others, listening to everyone’s viewpoint, understanding their journey that if I ask myself for my personal interest or opinions, I’m not very sure what to say. I can’t remember who I authentically am. I’m fine with anything but I don’t know where I stand. Sometimes, I feel like the world is inundated with opinions that I don’t even have to formulate my own or bother to can’t squeeze mine in edgewise. For goodness sake, I can’t even hear what I have to say! Or, well, maybe I am just not trying hard enough. And it doesn’t help that I prefer discussing another person’s life than mine. Which is a pity because that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I am created uniquely with an intellect of my own. Surely, I have a distinct perspective to share… if I want to. And, I do! I have a number of stories I’ve wanted to blog about, a few thoughts I have to sort out, and a life I need to plan. But, I’ve conveniently been reasoning ‘not having enough time,’ ‘planning to watch this show,’ ‘wanting to meet that person,’ etcetera. You see, these things are incredibly easy! What’s harder is stepping away from the crowd, questioning the credibility of the source, examining the thoughts behind the words. It is more difficult to recall my past experiences, to reinforce my values and principles, to carve my own path. It’s difficult to look at the big picture, to promote who I am, to have my own voice. So, when it comes to what I have to say? Oh, never mind!

But, I want to break this habit, start anew, and bring the myself back into the world. And, I’m taking it step by step. I’ve moved on from my ‘dark cloud,’ I’ve decided to fast from my 21 tv series for Lent (yes, I watch 21 shows every week), and I’m mixing up my reading list with more non-fiction ones. And now, I want to blog a little bit more again. In fact, I have an exciting collaboration with Cumuloq coming up. I might be blabbering nonsense or talking about something close to my heart. And, I’m excited! I’m actually reading the words as I type this post up. And hearing my voice, literally and metaphorically, is making me smile and be proud of myself. It’s been a while. (:

Rhey Botanic Gardens

Myself in Singapore Botanic Gardens || Photo credits: Cumuloq

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